{"id":3273,"date":"2020-10-10T21:00:46","date_gmt":"2020-10-10T21:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/?p=3273"},"modified":"2020-02-11T18:47:52","modified_gmt":"2020-02-11T18:47:52","slug":"story-dinner-for-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/2020\/10\/10\/3273\/","title":{"rendered":"Dinner for One"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\u201cDinner for One\u201d illustrates how memories, momentary experiences and future expectations influence each other, and how concentrating on negative memories can have a particularly negative effect on future expectations and the very nature of the future. It encourages the listener to distinguish between memories which should continue to be used as a basis for expectations, and those which should be ignored when developing a personal vision of the future.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last Sunday, while sitting in my consultation room, I\nthought to myself, \u201cI need to see a therapist.\u201d \u201cBut you are a therapist,\u201d said\nmy inner voice, \u201cand this is your consultation room.\u201d \u201cWell, if you say so\u2026\u201d Three glasses were standing next to a half-full\nbottle of apple juice. I filled up the glasses, and invited everyone to attend\na family therapy session; the I of memory, the I of momentary experience and\nthe I of expectation. All three took their seats, and I asked for their\npermission to drink from each of the glasses in turn on their behalf. I led the\nconversation. To begin with the three almost got into an argument, because Expectation\nI believed that no one was taking any notice of him and that Memory I \u2013 who had\nnothing positive to say \u2013 was getting all the attention. I asked Expectation I\nhow the situation could be improved, and I asked Momentary Experience I to give\nhis opinion on the relationship between Expectation I and Memory I. I also\nasked Memory I for his opinion on what had been said, remaining neutral and acting\nlike a good family therapist should. Each of the three had some good ideas.\nThey suggested that a distinction should be made between pleasant and\nunpleasant memories, and that only the pleasant memories should be used as a basis\nfor developing new and more heartfelt expectations. When everyone was happy and\nthe bottle of apple juice was empty, I thanked them, dismissed them and ended\nthe session. This therapy session had a long-lasting effect on me, and put me\nin a very optimistic mood…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cDinner for One\u201d illustrates how memories, momentary experiences and future expectations influence each other, and how concentrating on negative memories can have a particularly negative effect on future expectations and the very nature of the future. It encourages the listener … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3273"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3273\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3654,"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3273\/revisions\/3654"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stefanhammel.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}