We had a poodle. Whenever one of us put on our jacket and got ready to leave the house, the dog rushed at us from behind and nipped at our heels. This was its way of saying “I’ll miss you.”
The furniture van stopped halfway. We took a break at a rest area. I got out along with the removal men. I was freshly separated from my wife, and was suffering from the parting and loneliness. We spoke about partnership, separation and the resulting house moves. “You know why me and my wife get along so well?” asked the removal man. “Because we hardly ever see each other.”
I have a large sitting room cupboard. When I moved into my apartment I had carefully cleared it out. Everything had its place. But over the years many things which didn’t belong there – or at least not any more – had found their way to the compartments, shelves and drawers. My life had changed and other things had become important.
Now I cleared out my cupboard. First I took everything out and scattered it on the floor, resulting in a wild chaos – but a chaos that made some kind of sense. All the same, I need time to organise. Some things bring back memories. I have to look at them once again. Others demand a decision. There are things which will be thrown away. There are others which will be kept, not in the cupboard, but somewhere else, for example in the attic. Again others come back into the cupboard, but in another place.
The whole cupboard should be newly organised. But first I will wipe out the cupboard, remove the dust and perhaps also polish it.
My daughter was just here. She looked at the huge chaos and said to me: “I thought you wanted to tidy up?”
As a child I often helped my parents in the garden. I remember how my father instructed me to harvest blackberries. “Take a blackberry in your hand and pull at it a little. Not tightly, only quite lightly. If it is ripe, it will fall easily into your hand by itself. If it doesn’t come off by itself, leave it. That one still tastes sour.”
She was divorced. She told me: “During our long marriage my husband brought me red roses. I never told him that the loveliest roses for me are cream-white. I always thought, if he really loved me, he would notice by himself.”